You are not given anything you can't handle....

I am sitting here this morning pondering about the last 3 years of my life and feeling emotional. Three years because that is how long I have been fighting and dealing with cancer. It has been one hell of a ride with surgeries, treatments, separating from my husband and moving. Someone said to me the other day that you are not given anything you can't handle and that you are supposed to learn something from the experience. Well, I'm handling and kicking this horrible disease's ass! What am I supposed to learn..... That my body can handle a lot of poison? That I have some amazing friends and family? Humor is medicine? That Frankie the T-Rex is really a god? I actually think that maybe it is that I am supposed to show Bailey how too be a Survivor. That no matter what you have to keep on fighting. You determine your self worth. That there is nothing stronger than love from your friends and family. Every time I deal with one the many things associated with cancer I think too myself...you can do this, you have too do this....Bailey.

I am on my way for another scan this morning and tomorrow I visit my Radiologist. Then we will find out how many rounds of radiation I will receive. I am feeling extremely positive about things and  that radiation is the best news I could of gotten last week. Funny isn't it...radiation is the best news? My glass is 3/4 full.... Roar!

Cancer chick :)

Prayer Shawls & 20 Minutes

Reporting live from the infusion center....

I have 20 minutes left of poison being deposited into my body. Then I get to go home.... What will I do? Well it seems that I have been given something too do. A Prayer shawl. Some very generous ladies at a local church make prayer shawls for us cancer/chemo patients. Most of you know that I am not a religious person. Except now I have been given this and I feel like it would be a bad omen not to wear it. So my plan is that when I get home I will put on the prayer shawl, sit by my Buddha and do some serious praying. I'm sure I do not need to tell any of you what prayer I want answered the most. I will try/do anything to get my life back from this disease .

20 minutes...... yipee, yahoo and a woot woot!  The plan is that in a few weeks I will get scanned and then get the results a few days later. The thought is that these aliens have been shrunk enough by chemo that I will start a series of 10 radiation treatments. So this last 20 minutes is very significant.... I might never have to do this shit (word was used to emphasize how much I hate chemo) again. My glass is 3/4 full....

Cancer Chick <3

Happy...

This is my Happy list. Things that make me happy and get me through this crap that they call Cancer. My accessories.

* Disco earrings

* Last suppers

* Willow trees

* Sour Cream & Onion chips

* Books

* Nightly chats with my sisters

* Reconnecting with old friends

* Tuscan Minestrone soup

* Vitamin Lemonade water

* Bailey thinking its OK to get in bed with me....because I'm sick. Otherwise this would never happen

* The Muppets

* Going to see Dinosaurs

* Many trips to Jine's with Evie

* Massages

* Monkeys

I'm not sure how and when this Journey is going to end. I know that through all of this that my accessories will have gotten me through it. I am happy and eternally grateful to have them. My glass is 3/4 full :)

Cancer Chick

I am a Rock Star!

Well I am according to my Oncologist. Yesterday I went to my Oncologist for a looksie at the Goiter in my neck. After 2 rounds of chemo he wanted to see how my body was reacting. Well after he rubbed and poked my neck he said "You are the Rock Star of Cancer" and "I don't feel anything here anymore". We high fived each other and I must say that I felt proud of what I had accomplished. So the plan has changed I will complete the last 2 rounds of chemo and then I will have another scan. If things are as fabulous as we think they are.... the chemo will stop and I will finish up my journey with 10 rounds of radiation.

As I sit here this morning I think about everything that I have been through especially over the last year. I have come to a conclusion about myself. I am a SURVIVOR. No one and not even Cancer can take me down. I will continue to fight and I will continue to live. My glass is 3/4 full.

Side Note - Suck it, Cancer!

A letter to Bailey.....

Dear Bailey,

I wanted to let you know how important you are to me, that you are the light of my life, and the reason why I am going to kick cancer's A$$. Stop rolling your eyes and listen to me.... 

Also I wanted to write these things to you because sometimes we just get way to caught up in the now. Not how we feel or how our lives have made some drastic turns lately. These are for you....

1) Make a positive out of a negative

2) A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

3) When life hands you lemons....make lemonade. 

4) You are the most "sparkly" thing in my life

5) I think that you are beautiful, strong, smart, funny, and courageous

6) I have no doubts that you are going to be a force to be reckoned with in life

7) Boys suck...... What I am saying is don't worry so much about boys,dating and etc.... Boys are stupid (not equipped emotionally yet) till at least the age of 30 and even then its not a guarantee. But again you never know who is going to walk into your life and why. 

8) Always do what you are afraid to do

9) Your glass should always be 3/4 full. Anything else is exhausting

10) You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.

So much love & sparkles,

Mom 

ox

Something pretty out of something....

I had to get my head shaved yesterday because my hair was falling out at rapid speed. I asked my good friend, my bosom buddy, my partner in crime, my monk to come and take pictures and for moral support. I asked her to take the photos because I knew she would make something beautiful out of the experience. She did not fail.The photos are beautiful and I think you get a sense of the love that she feels for me.

I started to think how lucky I am. You say "She thinks she is lucky....she has cancer" I do think I am lucky maybe even blessed. I have the most supportive friends, family and co-workers.They have called, sent cards, cooked, taken me to chemo, lighted candles, sat vigil by my hospital bed, made me laugh, made me cry, and even though I'm ill they still do not let me get away with anything. I hope everyone is able to feel this kind of love and support in their lives.

My cup runeth over.

So there was this teal purse....

This morning I woke up full of steam and ready to set the world on fire.  First thing I need to do is go online and buy that Teal purse that my sister was telling me she found yesterday. After a brief discussion with my sister about the teal purse. I found that I had one tiny problem.... She had no idea what the hell I was talking about. In fact we never even spoke yesterday. Hmmmmm. I am so disappointed that there is no teal purse that I must say I almost "depressed" about it. This must be one of the side effects of chemo....Hallucinations about a lovely teal purse. So as I'm writing this I am awaiting to hear from my doctor about some wonder drug that will A) clear up all fuzz in my brain B) produce a lovely teal purse C) make me feel "normal" through out my body

And the name of the drug is.....